Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Montecito Cheese Rat


Artist/Author hiding his danglers (privates)  behind a well-placed palm frond. Senior nude dude.

My cool new novel, Greenland Tower xoxo about kissing

https://www.gofundme.com/sggkrup6


https://funds.gofundme.com/dashboard/castlesandcritters

This sculpture is very old, circa approximately 1740
罕见的形象,Montecito的奶酪夹在他的个人,二零零五年的房间,在主人的村道Montecito的海岸加州巨大的别墅城堡。这种老鼠似乎是一个年轻男性。

आप खुश रहो और हवा में वापस अपने स्वयं के नहीं किया जा सकता है. आशीर्वाद
Montecito cheese Rat on his castle.
The Montecito Cheese Rat 

The Montecito Cheese Rat inhabits Montecito, California, a small wealthy community adjacent to Santa Barbara.  It is an aggressive little rat with a taste for "the good life."  Like most rats, it spends more energy thinking about cheese than anything else.  A more proper name would be the "Pacific Coastal Cheese Rat", but renaming this rat is not likely to occur anytime soon.   If you're in Montecito, leave out a piece of cheese anywhere under a tree, bush, or under your dinning room table, within minutes, that cheese will be gone.  You cannot Montecito Rat proof your home.  It is futile to even try.  If you call Orkin or some other exterminator to get rid of the rat, they will probably laugh in your face like you are some sort of dimwitted bumpkin.

It is advised that anyone moving into a wealthy community such as Montecito hire a  consultant to help them learn the local customs and practices.  You can't simply bumble into a snooty place like Montecito without risk of that social gaff that could haunt you for all eternity.  Play it safe, hire an expert!  The Welcome Wagon people will steer you to the right person (if properly bribed, of course).   The title of your "experts" will vary, some titles will be boring, some creative or even hysterically funny.  Don't laugh, if your laugh is wrong and not a proper "Montecito laugh", you will be ID'd as a rube and you will pay through the ass to recover from that transgression.       

The "Horse laugh" works well in Montecito if you can back it up.  If you don't have money up the ass, the horse laugh is not going to work.  Social capital is equally important....  If you're moving directly to Montecito from, let's say Flint, Michigan (where I'm originally from) You probably don't have a lot of social capital.  Even if you are the "Garbage King" of the mid-west, it's not going to work in Montecito.  Natives of Montecito are even better then chickens at lining individuals up according to rank.  (Re.: Pecking order)  So, hire your expert even before buying your estate in Montecito.  

Speaking of birds, beware of Ellie the personal assistant who makes a career of coming in as an expert consultant but will ruin you socially.  Smelly Ellie will take your money and send you reeling back to the boondocks with lightning like speed.  Personal Assistant, Relocation Specialist, whatever she may be calling herself these days, association with her on any level is social death.   For one thing, Ellie's: Kindness to Pigeons Foundation, isn't much of a launching pad for sucess in Montecito.  (Every single person over twelve years of age in Montecito has a foundation and sometimes derives a considerable income from it.)  Ellie hit rock bottom with the Pigeon thing....  You see a woman puttering around in the park with a bag of bread crumbs, wearing a artist smock and Pigeon slippers, slip off into the shrubbery and find a trail out of there. 


Another thing, when you are at the Safeway in Montecito (which is considered socially OK for any well-heeled resident with really nothing to do) be sure to linger near the avocado bin.  That is the hot spot in the Montecito Safeway.  Don't be an idiot and put one in your shopping cart, however unless you've read every possible book, article, or whatnot on the avocado.  You are not there to shop, your cook will do that better than you ever will.  You are there to be seen and not exposed with an overripe avocado dangling from your poky finger.    If the produce guy takes a dislike to you in Montecito, you are ruined for good.  If that happens, you may as well head for aisle ten, pick up a bag of croutons and go hunt down Smelly Ellie and hang out with her.  

The fastest way to social climbing in Montecito is to come up with a "cute" anecdote about the beloved Montecito Rat.  Be careful here, some fucktard (sorry, that's how they speak in Montecito, Santa Barbara, and Hope Ranch) will try to steal it.  Save your great anecdote for the proper setting and share it only after the locals get a couple drinks under their belts.  If you use visual props with your little tale, so much the better.  Half of Montecito walks about with a hunk of rat bitten cheese in their pockets, perhaps more than half.  No plastic bags, please, try a cloth napkin or, if you dare, that birthday necktie you hate.   

        "So, the rat had to fight his way into my wife's Louie V purse    but it was just too much for him so I had to revive him with a light sprinkle of Evian water then run quickly back to hide in my rat blind.  I think he saw me but was too weak from the effort to run away.  I had the rat blind custom made in Italy, worth every penny!
The Velveeta was right down there on the bottom of the purse so the rat had to do a lot of digging...."

OK, you blew it..... Velveeta????  For a Pacific Coast Cheese Rat?  You're dead meat, sucker.  A good Vermont cheddar perhaps, Organic goat cheese, possibly, Velveeta?  You would have to be Oprah Winfrey to get away with that one.  Even then the joke would be that the Cheese rat more or less gave her the finger.  Bad, very bad.  Want my old, dried up bread crust for fun with Ellie?  Now you got to lie, you got to lie convincingly!!  A joke, a joke!!  Fricking joke, people.  Don't head off to your Cardiologist, it was a joke!!!


Back in the day, you could have a Montecito Cheese Rat as a pet  Not anymore.  It has become a wildlife issue and you would have to have a permit.  There has been more that one prominent socialite busted for harboring an illegal rat.  To get a permit could cost upwards of a million dollars cash and you would have to survive an inspection by the county.   

The Inspector is "The Man", so to speak, in Santa Barbara County.  He gets invited to every major party and event and is treated like royalty.  Want to get ahead?  Kiss his ass and grease his palms.  Tell me, how does a lowly county inspector come about a diamond Rolex watch without being on the take.  Oh yeah, some idiot threw it over his fence in Goleta with a note thanking him for protecting the "wild life" indigenous to the Montecito area.  Makes me seriously ill even to think about it.  In Flint, Michigan, you'd just pull out your sidearm and plug the darn rat or at least try to shoot off its tail.  (Not me, I like small critters!)  

It is not only the Exulted Rat Inspector who parades around in jewels and other fancy babbles, oh no.  You drive around montecito at night and you guaranteed will light up more than one indolent rodent in a D-flawless collar.  (If they can get in, they can get out!)  Haha, no amount of cheese will keep little Booger in when he has the urge to find a mate.  Booger becomes driven.  Girl rats are the same.  If the diamonds are pink, you can figure that it is a female rat.  


Since I'm something of an entrepreneur, I stepped in to provide suitable homes for the spoiled and catered to Montecito Cheese Rat. Below, is a custom made elegant Rat Chateau that would make any discriminating Cheese Rat proud.  I will launch the service later this year when some small details are ironed out.  Email me and let me know what you think of the Chateau.  Thank you so very much.
在他的城堡Montecito的奶酪鼠。大鼠的蒙特西托奶酪
Montecito的奶酪鼠的栖息Montecito的加利福尼亚州,一个富裕的小社区毗邻圣巴巴拉。这是一个积极的和对味道的小老鼠“的美好生活。”最喜欢的老鼠,它花费更多的精力比任何其他有关奶酪的想法。更正确的名称将是“太平洋沿岸奶酪鼠”,但重命名这个鼠是不太可能很快出现。如果你在Montecito芯片一样,离开了任何一棵大树下,布什一块奶酪,或在你的餐厅的桌子,在数分钟之内的奶酪将会消失。你不能证明你家的Montecito鼠。甚至是徒劳的尝试。如果你打电话Orkin或其他灭虫获得的大鼠赶走,他们可能会笑你的脸像你这样有一些dimwitted土包子排序。
这是任何人都表示,一个富裕的社会运动,如Montecito的聘用一名顾问,帮助他们学习当地的习俗和做法。你不能简单地胡扯Montecito的傲慢成类似的地方,社会没有鱼钩,可以为所有的永恒困扰你的风险。明哲保身,聘请专家!欢迎旅行车人将引导您到正确的人(如适当的贿赂,当然)。您的“专家”的称号会有所不同,有些游戏会很无聊,一些有创意的,甚至歇斯底里的滑稽。别笑,如果你的笑声是错误的,不恰当的“Montecito的笑”,你将ID'd作为一个乡巴佬,你将通过屁股支付恢复从该犯。
“马笑”在Montecito的效果很好,如果你能备份。如果你没有钱的屁股,马笑是行不通的。社会资本是同样重要的....如果你正在移动直接从Montecito的,比方说弗林特,密歇根州(如我最初来自)你可能不会有很多的社会资本。即使你是“垃圾王”的中西部,这不是去上班Montecito的。 Montecito的当地人的更好然后在排队的个人组成,根据排名鸡。 (Re.:啄食顺序)所以,即使聘请您在购买前你Montecito的房地产专家。
说到鸟,埃莉提防谁使个人助理的作为专家顾问,在未来的职业生涯,但最终将会毁灭你在社交方面。臭臭艾莉将你的钱,送你回缫丝闪电般的速度与在偏僻地区。个人助理,搬迁专家,不管她可能是在提醒自己这些天,她是对任何级别的社会性死亡关联。一方面,Ellie的:善待鸽子的基础,是不是一个在Montecito的成功发射台了。 (每超过十二个蒙特西托岁的单身人士有一个基础,有时从它派生一个可观的收入。)埃利打鸽子的事情谷底....你看见一个女人锄周围用面包屑袋园区,艺术家身穿工作服,鸽拖鞋,滑落到灌木林,发现有线索了。

另一件事,当你在是在Montecito的西夫韦(这被认为是任何富有的居民的社会行与真正无关)一定要斌鳄梨附近逗留。这是在Montecito的西夫韦热点。不要做白痴,把你的购物车之一,但除非你已经阅读每一个可能的书籍,文章,或在鳄梨诸如此类的东西。你不在那里购物,你会做做饭比你更好的意愿。你在那里待观察,而不是与一熟的手指从你的poky晃来晃去鳄梨暴露出来。如果发生在Montecito芯片生产家伙给你不喜欢,你毁了好。如果发生这种情况,你不妨过道十头,拿起了蒜香包去追捕下来,挂臭臭艾莉与她出去。
最快的方法,社会Montecito的攀岩是拿出一个“可爱”关于心爱的Montecito的大鼠轶事了。注意这里,一些fucktard(对不起,这是他们如何说话Montecito的圣巴巴拉,希望牧场)将尝试偷钱。为妥善保存您的设置和共享伟大的故事后,才让当地人带一对夫妇在他们的饮料。如果您使用Visual道具你的小故事,那就更好了。各行各业的Montecito的一半左右,在他们的口袋和大块奶酪的老鼠咬伤,也许比一半以上。没有塑料袋,请尝试布餐巾,或者,如果你敢,你讨厌的生日领带。

        
“于是,老鼠必须打入我妻子的路易V钱包他的方式,但它只是对他来说太辛苦了,所以我不得不恢复与轻型他洒依云水,然后快跑回藏在我的老鼠失明。我觉得但他看到我的努力也从弱到逃跑。值得每一分钱我瞎老鼠风俗在意大利制造!是正确的Velveeta那里对钱包底部,所以这个老鼠做了很多挖...."
OK,你搞砸了..... Velveeta????对于太平洋海岸奶酪老鼠吗?你死肉,吸盘。也许是一个很好的佛蒙特切达,有机山羊奶酪,可能的话,Velveeta?你将不得不奥普拉得到与该人离开。即使这样的笑话将是老鼠的奶酪或多或少给了她的手指。糟糕,很糟糕。希望我老了,干涸的乐趣与艾莉面包?现在你到了说谎,你得令人信服地撒谎!一个笑话,一个笑话! Fricking笑话,人。不要化险为夷您的心脏病,这是个玩笑!

早在一天,你可以作为一个宠物鼠不Montecito的奶酪了。它已成为野生动物的问题,你就必须有许可证。出现了更多的一个突出的社会名流为窝藏非法大鼠捣毁。取得许可证可能花费100万美元以上的现金,你将不得不由县级生存的检查。
检查员是“人”,可以说在圣巴巴拉县。他得到邀请各主要政党和事件,并有居高临下的对待。要出人头地?亲吻他的屁股和油脂的棕榈树。告诉我,如何卑微督邮关于钻石的劳力士手表来没有在为自己的福利。哦,是的,有些白痴扔附有一份说明,它感谢保护“野生动物”土著地区的Montecito的他比他在戈利塔围栏。让我病重甚至去想它。在密歇根州弗林特,你只是把你的手枪和那该死的老鼠插头或至少尝试拍摄了它的尾巴。 (不是我,我喜欢小动物!)
它不仅是欣喜若狂大鼠督察乱转谁在珠宝及其他花式babbles,哦,不。你开车大约在晚上Montecito和保证将照亮你在D -无瑕领多个惰性啮齿动物。 (如果他们进得来,他们可以出去!)哈哈,没有奶酪将保持小布格的时候,他有希望找到一个伴侣数量。布格成为驱动。女老鼠是一样的。如果钻石是粉红色的,你自己看着办,这是一个雌性大鼠。

由于我是一个企业家的事,我临危受命,为损坏的房屋和照顾到合适的Montecito的奶酪鼠。下面,是由一个优雅的习俗,鼠堡将使任何歧视奶酪大鼠感到自豪。我将稍后推出的服务,今年在一些小细节得到妥善解决。给我发电子邮件让我知道你对城堡的想法。谢谢你这么多。


Chateau worthy of the Montecito Cheese Rat.  $100K
Artist/Builder, Farrell Hamann 
Payment in gold bullion is acceptable and, in fact, preferred.
More coming..

http://www.pinterest.com/farrellhamann/farrell-hamann-show/

Email 
Elmer's Secret Weapon no. 2 (Elmer stars in my hit new series: Intercepted Video Transmissions see on youtube at farrellhamann

Church of the Blue Moon/Moon Beams on your Naked Booty Note: Come back and read these posts later, not now.
酒庄Montecito的奶酪值得 10万美元
艺术家/生成器,法瑞尔哈曼
金条是可以接受的付款方式,事实上,首选
更多即将..

电邮
埃尔默的秘密武器没有 2(埃尔默星星在我的新系列:在YouTube视频传输截获看到farrellhamann
 Greatist的艺术家
花岗岩艺术
月亮/月亮上的裸体藏宝回来吧,这些职位,不是现在。


 
Bitey cats would move out of their castle for a price.  Expect to pay a bit more for the Castle than the Chateau.  
Note: Pinconning cheese seems to be the all time favorite of the picky Montecito Cheese Rat.  It was named after the town of Pinconning, Michigan where it was first developed in 1915.  It is an aged, colby type, soft cheese and may be aged up to ten years.  Connoisseurs may scoff but really, who can argue with a rat? 
Disclaimer
I have no financial  interest in Pinconning cheese
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinconning_cheese
Bitey就会搬出他们对价格的城堡。期待支付酒庄城堡多一点。

平康宁奶酪似乎是Montecito的奶酪老鼠所有挑剔的最爱它被命名后,平康宁密歇根州小镇,最初是在1915年开发的这是一个老年人,科尔比,软奶酪,可能是年龄长达十年行家们可能会嗤之以鼻,但说真的,可以争辩老鼠

免责声明

 My Twitter Avatar.  Please follow on Twitter and Facebook.  See art tours and funny videos on my youtube channel: farrellhamann  (same as on Twitter)  I play Elmer/Basel, clueless mind-controlled dupe of the CIA an MI6, and perhaps, the NSA
Фарел Hamann, американски художник, писател, изследовател, и най-добрият приятел на български език.
我的Twitter头像。在Twitter和Facebook。我的艺术之旅YouTube频道和有趣的影片:farrellhamannTwitter上相同)我玩埃尔默/巴塞尔无能的心态,控制了美国中央情报局军情六处欺骗,也许,国家安全局

僵尸人欢迎你。

Я может выглядеть как зомби, но я парень возлюбленной любви
J'ai vécu à Paris France pour sept mois. J'aime la France

こんにちは、あなたは私のYouTubeチャンネルに自分の動画を見ることができます:farrellhamannを

Sorry for the pic of a picture.  This was a last minute addition to this site and a photographer was not available.  Traditionally, we use a Brooks Photographer whenever possible.  
This elegant but more modest cottage or small chateau is part of the Castle village collection.  It is for the discriminating rat that requires something less that a 25 room castle but more than an old tire to call home. Naturally, this building would fit very well in a secluded area of the compound.  Make an offer.  Note the round turrets and Egyptian motif style tower.  
很抱歉的图片图片。是最后一刻加入到这个网站,摄影师不详传统上,我们使用了布鲁克斯摄影师只要有可能。

优雅,但较为温和的平房或小城堡,城堡,是集合的一部分这是老鼠歧视,需要的东西,一个比一个25岁的房间城堡轮胎,但更给家里打电话当然这个大楼将非常适合在一个僻静的复合您的报价。注意炮塔和埃及Motif风格塔。


 
Artist/Builder: Farrell Hamann
"Unique collection" The J. Paul Getty Museum, "American version of the Faberge eggs" KCRA TV, Sacramento, "Beautiful" Oprah Winfrey, "Fascinating Mosaic eggs"  The Museum of Fine Arts, Boston.  "A world of visual gems" Encore Magazine.

Pinconning Cheese
Rich Kid Toys (Toys only rich kids could afford)   dads, moms, look here. toys for the offspring of millionaires and billionaires right here. Hand made for the potentate, Princess, Prince, little Duke, Royals, offspring of Kings and Queens.  Rare and exotic and special.  Spoil your little ones with luxury and rarity, toys from the world's greatest living artist/sculptor/toymaker.   

Video of Magnus the pug dog "co

Need California artist and writer, Farrell Hamann, to pour ice water on your balls? I'm your man. Not inexpensive.
America's top senior male underwear model, inventor of 25K gold and the true King of Holland and France.
Here I am wearing my palm frond and little else. Don't try to see my privates by looking for shadows and reflections, his pic was carefully vetted.  

Old Butt Hairs  (formerly The Exulted One) Nice Celtic Cross at this site.
艺术家/生成器:法雷尔哈曼

“唯一集“保罗盖蒂博物馆,“美国版的法贝热蛋“KCRA电视,萨克拉门托,“美丽“奥普拉温弗瑞,“迷人的马赛克蛋“波士顿美术博物馆。安可杂志“宝石视觉世界。“

平康宁奶酪

丰富的儿童玩具(玩具只有富家子弟买得起爸爸妈妈你看这里。后代的百万富翁和亿万富翁玩具在这里。手,向当权者提出,公主,王子,小公爵,皇家队国王和皇后的后代。稀有和异国情调和特别。破坏你的豪华和稀有性从世界上最伟大的艺术家玩具/雕刻家/玩具制造商小的。

铃声摇滚/加利福尼亚唯一的来源

铃声摇滚视频

视频马格努斯哈巴狗“玉米cobbing“像达菲鸭轻轻胳肢真的很可爱

纪念碑雕塑艺术家,法雷尔哈曼

25个房间的城堡或宫殿。手投,手工雕刻石膏
Giant red ball, Bitey Cats lurking in A Montecito Cheese Rat abode
hoping for a snack of rat and Pinconning Cheese.  Would settle for Munster, or Cheddar, and a field mouse, or even a vole or mole. This group of Bitey Cats came down from their summer home in the Santa Ynez Mountains.  There is colony in Painted Cave, so they say. The Bitey Cats run a service where they will dump crap in your neighbor's swimming pool for a fee. They live a life of cheerful petty crime and are known litter bugs.  This is only a rumor, of course.  It is considered bad taste, incidentally, not to include a hack saw when you bake a cake for a Bitey Cat.  This is an ancient tradition going way, way back, perhaps to the discovery of the hack saw.
巨大的红色球,Bitey在A Montecito的奶酪潜伏居留权

希望的一种鼠平康宁奶酪小吃。将用于明斯特,奶酪,田鼠,甚至结清田鼠或痣Bitey下来,从他们在圣伊内斯避暑山庄中有的殖民地,所以他们说Bitey运行服务,他们将倾倒在你的邻居游泳池是收费的废话他们过着快乐的生活和轻微犯罪已知垃圾虫当然只是一个谣言被认为是不好的味道,顺便提一句,不列入破解当你看到一个Bitey蛋糕。这是一个古老的传统方式回来的路上,也许看到黑客发现。
 

Due to the popularity of Cheese rats in Montecito, Princess Mia is feeling somewhat neglected.  As the highest ranking Noble in town, she expects some groveling and, well, just good manners to royalty.
No starring at the boob in this pic, please.  These tits are off limits for you.  So mote it be!


 ikhameleon beauty girl launches first video!!
Please you watch it on youtube. Learn how to use brushes when applying makeup and cosmetics from a professional and a very sweet, cute girl.  This is a tutorial and very useful.
ikhameleon daughter

Crap, Rush Limbaugh is on the damn radio shooting off his mouth.  What an asshole.  I call him: Limbaughzbub


Information on the burrow of the Montecito Cheese Rat is being collected and will be put on this site as soon as possible.  The reluctance of Montecito residents to disturb has, so far, hindered scientific investigation of the Montecito Cheese Rat, its' habitat, and other pertinent data.  


publisher of this site assumes no responsibility for the above video content.  


Join the Montecito Cheese Rat Fan Club.  Very exclusive.  Inside tips on finding a good nanny for your rat, how to ID and imposter, and much more.  Watch Farrell Hamann's youtube channel (farrellhamann) for more information.  The Exulted One





Copyright, Farrell Hamann all rights reserved 2009/2010

تستخدم لندف الأصدقاء العرب في سكرامنتو حول تعقب من الرمال في منطقة الشرق الأوسط. وقيل م الموساد هنا
Powerful and easy password security
POISON OAK EGAD!

Ringtail Cats not a cat) This excellent site says you can keep them as pets!. Just don't let one of them eat a Montecito Cheese Rat!!)

Gossip: Simon Cowell wants a Montecito Cheese Rat but just can't seem to find one available. Poor Simon, we pity the man.  You can't be a proper socialite in Montecito with out your rat!!  Might work in hope Ranch, or Malibu, but not here.  No way! 


If you aspire to live properly in Montecito, forget the koi and giant gold fish, tortoises, poodles, get youself a Montecito cheese rat.  Social climbing rapidly requires only the best.  You will remain a nobody until you get your rat.  Don't forget the Pinconning Cheese.


I heard that Al Gore is working on getting himself a Cheese rat.  We will see.  They are difficult to obtain, even for the former Vice-President of the United States.


Castle Collection, artist: Farrell Hamann (for a museum or very rich kid, Prince or Princess) World class gifting. Corporate gifts, celeb. gifts. Famous tycoons, Billionaires.

Tramp, Hobo, drifter, and bum tours of Montecito. Sign up 4 fun! BYO shopping cart. (Available at the local supermarket for free!)  No need to dress up, come as you are.  Informal.  Later, we will all take a nap in the park.  If your shopping cart has a squeaky wheel or two, even better.  Bring some empties (cans and bottles) to place in your cart to insure a nice rattle and clatter.  Restrooms (bushes) conveniently located along the entire route for the modest among you.  Rummaging through dumpsters and garbage cans is perfectly acceptable.  Expect a welcoming committee and the red carpet treatment.  Montecito is famous for it's gracious treatment of the homeless and mentally ill so bring your friend along.  Farting contest on Butterfly Beach!!!!!!  This will be the high class, social event of the year for sure.  Prizes will be awarded base on frequency, decibels, smell, and wetness, and just plain weird.  This is an annual event (eventually, this may become a daily event)  Come one, come all.  Enjoy.  Don't forget to ask for spare change, you never know.
Panhandling is just another art form, so rock out.

Text version of last year's winning fart:  BurrrrrrrrrrRaapblatblatt!  (smelled like poop and decomposed fish)
When I got my first metal detector, a 4900 D, White's, I found a gold ring my very first time out on Butterfly Beach, a beach with not generally good metal detecting.  How cool is that?
Ooh! flashing colored lights, greedy raw meating eating pug dog, green bananas, huge bug, and UFO  

Elmer's Secret Weapon 2 really funny video.  My hat covers my bald spot nicely.  I've always hated wearing a hat but now I'm getting the point.  Elmer is more properly called: Elmer/Basel.  Basel is is "alter" identity as a trauma induced multi-personality CIA victim.   
(Elmer is an asset of the CIA, somewhat unwillingly)
About three minutes, very very, kool. For self-defense only! 

Trailer:
Preview for new internet TV Series. Intercepted Transmissions (CIA MI6 NSA DIA KGB)

Hi you, just decided... I'm going to award a prize of my cool gargoyle face vase to first person from Montecito or Hope Ranch, or Bel-Air who shows up at my humble abode to see my art collection  and buys anything.  Must prove residency and call first. You can see this on Twitpic, Picasa, Flicker, on some of my other blogs, etc.  It is sooooo cool!  Groovy!! Hot!

Don't know if I really want  to enter the fart contest on Butterfly Beach.  One thing, I already have a reputation as a farter, not sure I need to enhance my farting ability.  Secondly, I'm not a bum, drifter, hobo, homie or even in that category.  I drive a Jaguar (Creampuff)  I live in a home with a million dollar art collection and I've lived in Paris, France and dated a Playboy Bunny.  Doesn't that exclude me from a farting contest?  I'm also a novelist.

Wife with eyes blue like the Ellensburg agate, is sleeping... ah, peace.  Mia the pug dog, AKA (also know as) Mugsie is sleeping near her on my pillow.  Speaking of farting, Mia farts all fricking night long, usual with her furry butt point directly at my head and inches away.  I have her on a mostly raw meat diet and her poots smell like burning rubber and shit.


Did I tell you that I'm considering a trade for a Ferrari?  It has to be a nice one or no deal and there must be some cash tossed into to deal so I can afford to pay taxes, DMV and insurance on it.  It should be Ferrari red, of course.  No beaters, please.  I might consider an Aston Martin.  No Rolls Royces, please, seen too many of those in the shop.  The Ferrari should jump start (haha) my art and writing career.  


Oh yeah!, forget to tell you that Mia, AKA Mugsie the pug dog co-starred in my video: Intercepted Video Transmissions No. Six.  Funny little doggie (food obsessed)


I need a billionaire angel to finance my various plots, schemes, plans, efforts, boondoggles, and what nots.  Come on, billionaire, crawl up out of your fetid crap hole and make your appearance. Am ready, lets go.  How about you, Oprah, I did gift you one of my famous mosaic eggs.... a nice one too.  I want a Cessna Grand Caravan, now you can install a 900 horse power engine in one of them babies.  The regular engine in 600 HP.  Some pilots and pretenders think the 600 hp Pratt and Whitney is the better engine but it seems the bigger one gets more use between overhauls.  You got to watch icing with the Cessna 208, got to be real careful about that.  

I was featured on TV in Santa Barbara some years ago.  We had moved away from SB but were visiting my wife's mom and dad.  Just to let the mom know that I'm not a total asshole, I called Ch. 3 and they came over an featured my famous mosaic eggs.  We video taped in the overgrown backyard.  It was a bit too much for my wife's dad who went into hiding.  Haha

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: farrellhamann, on facebook and watch my youtube videos (my channel: farrellhamann)  Spare change?  Come on, cheapskates, feed me!!  
八卦:西蒙考威尔想要一个鼠Montecito的奶酪,但似乎无法找到一个可用的。可怜的西蒙,我们同情的人。你不能用一个适当的社交出你这耗子!蒙特西托!希望工作可能在牧场或马里布,但不是在这里。没办法!

如果你渴望生活在Montecito的正确,忘记了锦鲤和巨金鱼,龟,贵妇犬,让自己一Montecito的奶酪的老鼠。社会迅速攀升,只需要最好的。然而,你仍然是默默无闻的,直到你得到你的老鼠。不要忘了平康宁奶酪。

我听说戈尔是做好自己的工作做奶酪老鼠。我们将拭目以待。他们是很难获得,即使是前副总统的美国。

城堡系列,艺术家:法雷尔哈曼(用于博物馆或非常丰富的孩子,王子或公主)世界一流的馈赠。企业礼品,名人。礼品。著名的大亨,亿万富翁。

流浪汉,流浪汉,流浪汉和Montecito的屁股之旅。赶快注册4乐趣!关帝庙的购物车。 (可在当地超市免费!)无需打扮,来为你。非正式的。后来,我们都将参加在公园里睡觉。如果您的购物车有吱吱响的车轮或两个,甚至更好。带来一些空瓶(罐,瓶)放置在您的购物车,以确保一个不错的拨浪鼓和哒。洗手间(灌木)沿线的交通方便的温和你们中间的整个路线。通过翻找垃圾箱和垃圾罐是完全可以接受的。期待一个欢迎委员会和红地毯的待遇。 Montecito是著名的为它的亲切对待无家可归者及精神病患者等带你的朋友一起。放屁的蝴蝶湾泳滩比赛!!!!!!这将是高档,今年社会事件肯定。奖项将授予频率,分贝,嗅觉和湿润基地,简直不可思议。这是一年一度的活动(最终,这可能成为一个生活事件)来一个,来的。享受。不要忘了要求零钱,你永远不知道。
乞讨是另一种艺术形式,使摇滚。

文字版去年的获奖屁:BurrrrrrrrrrRaapblatblatt! (闻起来像便便和分解鱼)
当我拿到我的第一个金属探测器,4900 D,白色的,我发现了一个金戒指,我的第一个关于蝴蝶湾,具有不一般良好的金属探测海滩超时。散热效果如何呢?
哦!闪烁的彩灯,贪婪原料meating狗吃泥料,绿香蕉,巨大的错误,和不明飞行物

埃尔默的秘密武器二真的很有趣的视频。我的帽子很好地覆盖我的秃斑。我一直讨厌戴帽子,但现在我明白了。埃尔默,是比较恰当称为:埃尔默/巴塞尔。巴塞尔的是“改变”为诱导多个性中央情报局创伤受害者的身份。
(埃尔默是美国中央情报局的资产,有些不情愿地)
约三分钟,非常非常,库尔。为了自卫而已!

预告:
预览新的互联网电视系列。 (国家安全局的国防情报局军情六处中央情报局克格勃)截获变速器

嗨,你,就决定...我要奖金而冷静面对花瓶石像鬼从Montecito的或希望牧场,或贝沙湾谁会显示在我的寒舍看到我的艺术收藏品和买东西的第一人奖。必须证明居住和先打电话。你可以看到Twitpic,Picasa时,闪烁,我的其他博客上一些,这等,这是sooooo酷! Groovy的!热!

http://Henthusiasts.com城市母鸡!在这里我把这个Twitter的朋友。鲜鸡蛋!,鸣,什么是不爱?
不知道如果我真的想要进入的蝴蝶湾屁比赛。有一件事情,我已经有了一个farter的声誉,不知道我需要提升我放屁的能力。其次,我不是一个流浪者,流浪者,流浪汉,亲密或在该类别均匀。我开的是捷豹(Creampuff)我住在一个家庭一百万美元的艺术收藏品,我一直住在巴黎,法国和约会花花公子兔子。那岂不是排除来自放屁比赛吗?我也是一名作家。
妻子眼睛像埃伦斯堡玛瑙蓝,是睡觉...啊,和平。米娅的哈巴狗犬,又名(也称为)Mugsie靠近她在我的枕头睡觉。作者:放屁时,米娅屁都fricking整夜,平常跟她毛茸茸的屁股指出我的头,直接英寸远。我有一大部分是生肉饮食她和她的poots像燃烧的橡胶和狗屎的气味。

难道我告诉你,我考虑了法拉利贸易?它必须是一个很好的一个或没有达成任何协议,也必须采取抛向处理,所以我有能力支付其税收,保险DMV和一些现金。它应该是法拉利红,当然。没有打手,请。我可能会考虑阿斯顿马丁。没有劳斯莱斯,请见过太多在店里是很多。法拉利应该迅速启动(哈哈)我的艺术和写作生涯。

哦是的,忘了告诉你,亚,又名Mugsie的哈巴狗狗合作,在我的影片主演:视频传输号截获六。有趣的小小狗(食品痴迷)

我需要一个亿万富翁的天使,以资助我的各种阴谋,计划,规划,努力,蠢事,什么差距。上,亿万富翁来,爬出来的恶臭的垃圾洞,让你的外表。我已经准备好,让我们去。你怎么样,奥普拉,我没有你的礼物我最拿手的马赛克鸡蛋一....一个不错的想法。我希望有一个塞斯纳大别墅,现在你可以安装一个900马在其中一个孩子的发动机。经常在600马力发动机。有些飞行员和600马力觊觎认为普惠公司是更好的引擎,但它似乎是一个更大的使用变得更加大修。你得看的塞斯纳208结冰,必须是真正的大约小心。

我是在圣巴巴拉的特色,几年前在电视上。我们搬到离保安局但访问我的妻子的妈妈和爸爸。只是为了让妈妈知道,我不是总混蛋,我叫胆固醇。三,他们来到了一个著名的特色我的马赛克蛋。我们录影在杂草丛生的后院。这是一个有点我妻子的父亲谁躲起来太多。哈哈

别忘了跟我的Twitter:farrellhamann,在Facebook和观看我的YouTube影片(我的频道:farrellhamann)零钱?来吧,节俭,喂我!

Added this flower (orchid) by mistake but perhaps it wanted to go on the Montecito Cheese Rat site. The Cheese Rats would probably try to eat it just to freak out their owners.  They are like that, little schemers.  They could be mad because you didn't buy them my 25 room, museum piece, palace.  I'd eat it too....  I'd like more traffic here so, here goes!: penis!!! Hehehehehee haha, ho ho. Am sure that there a loads of sad little peckers in Montecito, Santa Barbara, and Goleta. Can't help you.... oh, I could help but I won't.  Too bad.  Blood sugar getting low so I have to go eat.  
添加了此,但也许它希望走在Montecito的奶酪的网站。奶酪老鼠会尝试吃可能只是发疯了它们的主人他们就是这样,小阴谋家他们可能是疯了,因为你不我的25室,博物馆的作品宫殿。吃了太多....我想在这里更多的流量这里有云:!阴茎 Hehehehehee哈哈,嗬嗬相信Montecito的圣巴巴拉戈利塔可怜的小peckers负荷。帮不了你....,我可以帮助,但我不会。太糟糕了。血糖越来越低,所以我必须去吃饭。
Cheese rat resting atop finale of sculpture.


Notice the shiny, healthy fur of this Montecito Cheese Rat?  This is one pampered rat... it eats the best of food (lots of Pinconning cheese) and gets 


groomed and seen by a Vet. on a regular basis.  Naturally, the Veterinarian comes to the rat.  They don't care to ride in cars, but if they do, seem to prefer large, stable cars such as Rolls Royces or big Jaguars.  They travel well in the pockets of your Armani suit if you are careful not to squeeze or bump them.
请注意,有光泽,Montecito的奶酪皮毛健康这是一个娇生惯养的老鼠...它吃食品(奶酪平康宁地段),并得到最好的


扶植兽医看到。定期当然,兽医来到了老鼠。他们不在乎汽车,但如果他们这样做,似乎更喜欢劳斯莱斯或大美洲虎,稳定的汽车。他们在您的旅行阿玛尼西装的口袋里,那么,如果你小心不要挤压或

 Wife with eyes blue like Ellensburg agate.  (100% natural eye color) 

 David Koch


Skulls


Stop the GOP war on women and girls

Lunch money for brats of Montecito (too harsh? Unfair?  OK, not all brats, just most.
home/art studio recent works.


Zombie author, Farrell Hamann, AKA Bo Dogly, the Exulted One, and Old Butt Hairs, has 2 cats, a pug dog, and a very high KLOUT score.  Went to Cass Tech and Mumford High Schools and the University of Michigan.  Currently lives in Sacramento, California.  Available for consultation for corporations or private citizens.  Has been to Iceland, Lived in Paris, and Alaska.  Hot!!!

http://brainheist.blogspot.com/2013/03/my-little-plan-for-my-art-collection.html 

僵尸作家,法瑞尔哈曼又名Dogly欢腾之一,和老屁股毛,有2个猫,哈巴狗和非常高的KLOUT评分。中国社会科学院技术芒福德高中和密歇根大学。目前住在加州萨克拉门托企业或公民个人的咨询。公司一直以冰岛住在巴黎和阿拉斯加。
Привет, вы можете увидеть мои видео на моем канале YouTube: farrellhamann


Guarda i miei video il mio canale su youtube: farrellhamann Commedia, arte, scultura, teneri animaletti, strani, sfere incandescenti.

法雷尔哈曼
    视觉艺术家,雕塑家,作家,喜剧影片(YouTube)的我与今夜秀(约卡森一个作家的文件,并在白宫收藏,美术波士顿,佩塔卢马博物馆博物馆艺术品,奥普拉温弗瑞有一个我的马赛克鸡蛋。等“独特的收藏“的保罗盖蒂博物馆。萨克拉门托蜜蜂安可“美国版的法贝热蛋“KCRA电视台,“美丽“欧普拉宝石视觉世界。“我已经多次在电视上的特色,并在印刷媒体我的YouTube频道:farrellhamann兼论注册。可以看到在FlickrPicasa时,Twitpic艺术品,谷歌,我有一个巨大的影像艺术收藏品工作包括城堡,塔,马赛克,油画,雕塑等。也做幽默写作。分数KLOUT




Kirkja Blue Moon / Moonbeams á Naked Butt þína.
Sagan af The Exulted Eitt sem ungur drengur. Tekin af
Evil Captain af Polar blaðra, fann hann heima í runnum næsta
við School Bad Girls. Með því að listamaður / rithöfundur, Farrell Hamann
 

Puing-puing, tidak istimewa, hanya gundukan, timbunan, tumpukan, dan tumpukan puing. Tidak mewah puing-puing seperti mereka ada di Mesir, hanya puing-puing. Bagaimana anda menolak?
les tas de décombres de gravats, des tas, des piles

farrellhamann@sbcglobal.net


 For Professional, expert beauty tips and tutorials, please visit my daughter, Kate's, channel on youtube: IKHAMELEON  Makeup artistry, cosmetics, makeovers, supplies, and more.

Pour les professionnels, d'experts conseils de beauté et des tutoriels, s'il vous plaît visiter ma fille, Kate, le canal sur YouTube: Maquillage artistique IKHAMELEON, cosmétiques, du maquillage, de fournitures, et plus encore.

Untuk Profesional, tips kecantikan ahli dan tutorial, sila lawati puteriku, Kate, saluran di youtube: IKHAMELEON kesenian Makeup, kosmetik, makeover, persediaan, dan banyak lagi.

专业,专家的美容秘诀和教程,请访问我的女儿,凯特在YouTube频道:IKHAMELEON化妆技艺,化妆品,改头换面,用品等。

IKHAMELEONメイク芸術、化粧品メイク、サプライ品、および詳細Professionalの場合専門家の美しさのヒントやチュートリアルの娘ケイトさんこちらチャンネルにアクセスしてください。

Для специалистов, экспертов советы по красоте и учебные материалы, пожалуйста, посетите мою дочь,, Кейт канал на YouTube: IKHAMELEON макияжа артистизм, косметика, перфекционизма, аксессуары и многое другое.

لموظفي الفئة الفنية، نصائح الجمال الخبراء والدروس، يرجى زيارة ابنتي، كيت، قناة على يوتيوب : IKHAMELEON الفنيةماكياج، ومستحضرات التجميل، التجميل، والمستلزمات، وأكثر من ذلك .

Para profesionales, consejos de expertos de belleza y tutoriales, por favor, visitar a mi hija, Kate, canal en youtube: arte IKHAMELEON maquillaje, cosméticos, maquillaje, material, y mucho más.

IKHAMELEON श्रृंगार कलात्मकता, सौंदर्य प्रसाधन, makeovers, आपूर्ति, और अधिक: व्यावसायिक के लिए, विशेषज्ञ सुंदरता सुझावों और tutorials के, मेरी बेटी है, केट, यूट्यूब पर चैनल पर जाएँ.
Follow Me on Pinterest
IKHAMELEON 메이크업 예술성, 화장품, makeovers, 공급, 그리고 : 프로 전문 뷰티 자습서, 내 , 케이트, YouTube에 채널 방문하시기 바랍니다.

Check out my about.me profile!

Für professionelle, kompetente Beauty-Tipps und Tutorials, besuchen Sie bitte meine Tochter, Kate, Kanal auf YouTube: IKHAMELEON Makeup Artistik, Kosmetik, Umarbeitungen, Zubehör und vieles mehr.

Professionale per consigli di bellezza di esperti e tutorial, si prega di visitare mia figlia, Kate, il canale su youtube: IKHAMELEON arte trucco, cosmetici, estetici, forniture e altro ancora.

Para profissionais, dicas de especialistas de beleza e cursos, visite a minha filha, Kate, canal no youtube: IKHAMELEON artístico de maquiagem, cosméticos, maquiagem, suprimentos e muito mais.

Đối với các chuyên nghiệp, chuyên gia về thủ thuật làm đẹp hướng dẫn, xin vui lòng truy cập vào con gái tôi, Kate, kênh trên youtube: IKHAMELEON nghệ thuật trang điểm, mỹ phẩm, Thay đổi vẻ ngoài, vật tư, và nhiều hơn nữa.

Pro profesionální, tipy odborníků krása a návody, navštivte mé dcery, Kate, kanál na YouTube: IKHAMELEON Makeup umění, kosmetika, Makeovers, zásoby, a další.

Celtic Cross 

My nearly completed Pre- Christian (style) Cross sculpture. Cross was used many places long before Christians started using it. Showing offerings of food and money and a large, male pug dog.

 Mia the pug dog (former show dog, Best in show) World's cutest pug doggie and very sweet. Not the black dog of Peel Castle on the Isle of Mann.


Cork Oak Trunk. Found along the American River Parkway, Sacramento, California. One of the best bike trail in the United States.  Miles and miles of bike path.


Wild California poppy in spring. Found near the American River.


Naked Barbie dolls stacked up like cord wood.


Ripe olives growing on a landscaping tree in Sacramento, California.


California woman in straw hat with black pug dog and giant Paul Bunyon. Sacramento on Howe Avenue


Kona Coffee
Montecito's most famous visual artist. At the wheel of Creampuff the Jaguar



Purple thistle




http://montecitorat.blogspot.com in Fit met de superrijken van Montecito, Californië, zal expert u helpen niet een gek worden


Emerging artist/writer Farrell Hamann (larva)
Facebook

Note: I'm going to start selling my flat marble toy spiral via the net very soon (hand held for kids older that 4 1/2 due to choking hazard) Don't have any made up yet but will soon. Each one will be different. Don't have pay pal so you'll have to pay by money order or silver, perhaps personal check until and if I get Paypal. Have some other ideas in the works for gifts and what nots. I'm thinking I need an inexpensive line of art and that's what's motivating me.  These toys would make great Christmas or birthday gifts or just to have around as sculpture.

Below: Latex mold for making spiral marble toys, I've made a number of these and they are great toys and help with hand eye. The finished marble spiral will be approximately 12 1/2 inches across. For Price, I thinking $32 shipped in USA or $55 for two. You can always arrange to pick up in person in Sacramento and see my huge art collection (giant spheres, obelisks, castles, chateau, paintings, wall hangings, large marble toys)

Latex rubber mold made for casting 12 1/2 inch spiral marble toy

Also: Going to start accepting writing assignments again so let me know what your needs are...


Phone: 916-641-7696

 Knight of the Imperial Order of the Opossum (IOOTO)

 Coloring


Above: Proof that the reclusive artist is Master of soft, self-serve ice cream


Precious the cat

crime



Ah, Spudnuts Donuts, the best doughnut (donut) ever!! I would like to install one in Montecito (Hope Ranch would be even better, haha) This would certainly annoy some but I bet it would out gross Pierre LaFond by a huge margin. (I could help the women of Montecito work off their newly acquired chubby asses by _____ them until they squeak like a Montecito Cheese Rat!  Wife with eyes blue like an Ellensburg agate need not know a thing!)  This Spudnut store is freshly painted, may be a bit too fancy. (I should NEVER write when I'm in the mood for love)

Below: @farrellhamann by Old Ivory on her new CD: "Click My @"